Post by lizity on Aug 11, 2012 22:02:32 GMT -5
Patience had never been one of her strong suits. Sure when she was on a job she could lay behind a sniper rifle for hours but that was different. She had a focus, a goal in mind. Pacing in the kitchen staring at her phone had no focus or goal to it and it was driving her mad. She wanted to pick it up and call Lily again, make sure she was still alright, beg her to come home were she knew she’d be as safe and protected as they could make her till she’d either gotten her memories back or she’d learned everything she needed to know all over again.
It was frustrating to know she was in the city and exactly where she was and that she couldn’t do anything about it. The only conciliation was that she was happy where she was. Or she had been before she and Damien had walked in and dropped the bomb of her life into her lap. Should they have just left her alone? She could have gone to talk to them herself, pretended that Lily had been just another wayward young woman trying to make her mark on the work.
But could she really have done that to her daughter?
No, she couldn’t have. It wouldn’t be right to take away all the things that made Lily who she was. She’d always pushed Lily to make her own choices even when she didn’t agree with them. Even if those choices had led her to this.
Making a frustrated sound in her throat she slammed her fist down on the counter, a crack forming in the tile she’d hit and she blanched. “Oops.”
~~
"She can take care of herself" Dick said from the doorway where he'd gone unseen and unheard, such was the depth of Rose's reverie. The lights were low in the kitchen the dim lights throwing shadows across his flint black hair. cold ice coloured eyes regard Rose for a long moment, she still hadn't looked away from the crack that spider webbed up the tile. He opened his mouth but he didn't want clumsy words to escape. What could he say? This was the worst part for him; being only to sit on the side watching helpless while Rose's heart tore itself in twain. he sighed softly crossing the distance between them, his foot steps were light and quiet, as they had in the days he used them to walk the tight rope. Rose more felt than saw him as he came in behind her, his hands resting on her hips while he leaned his head forward to kiss the top of her head.
"I know it's hard" he said quietly as he pulled his mouth back to her ear, his warm breath washing across across it. "But you'll get through this, we both will" or so he hoped.
it wasn't any easier for him, his own anxiety ran high but for very different reasons. He was facing the prospect of meeting his grown woman of a daughter for the first time since... Ever. he couldn't know the loss she felt, not truly and while he needn't ever meet his daughter to love her. Dick couldn't recall her face from anything other than a well handled photograph Damien had given him the night he had returned with Cecelia. Rose needed Dick to be strong, strong enough for both of them. He played his role, all she had ever asked of him was the strength to hold her up when she couldn't stand on her own. he had let her down twenty-odd years. Now it was time for amends.
Guilt mingled with his feelings and it stung at his heart to know that Rose had felt so abandoned all those years. As though Bruce, as though Gotham... As though being a hero were important than his burgeoning family. he told himself it wasn't true, that he had sacrificed his life for them rather than despite. But had it? had it really? In the dark lonely moments of the night, Dick couldn't even give himself a sure answer.
"She'll remember" he consoled "She'll come back to you, Rose."
~~
“She could take care of herself better I she knew what she needed to protect herself from.” Rose said quietly as her eyes followed the many lines of the broken tile. Flexing her hand she pressed both of them down on the counter top and made herself close her eyes so she could stop comparing her life to what she saw in front of her instead of the person that stood behind her.
She knew when he was walking up to her even before he touched her. She felt his warmth from a mile away. Something about him always pulled at her when he was near, like a line tied between them. She sank back into his chest, her hands pulling his arms around her so she could shield herself from the world for just a few minutes in the circle of his arms. The ache in her hand went away as she closed her eyes, letting his breath rush across her ear and her body mold back against his.
This was her rock, her safe and happy place when everything in her life wasn’t going the way she wanted it too. Even when he’d been gone her mind had made up its own images of him to get her through the hard times. As deluded as it might have been it had worked and well, she’d never been the most sane of people to begin with.
“I can be fearless in everything except the things that deal with her. Part of me wants her to stay where she is and take this new life and run with it and part of me is to afraid that if she does something from my past will catch up to her and she won’t be expecting it and she’ll get hurt or worse.”
~~
"I know." he said, letting her melt against him. Why as life in Gotham always so damn complicated? Had times ever been simpler? Easier? It was a distant memory but it seemed like it had been, but then, the grass is always greener. He gave a wan smile even though she couldn't see it. "And one day she'll be thankful she has such a resourceful and capable mother. her memories will return, you said she seemed to remember some of it, when she first saw you? How did Damien take it? I know they were something on an item for a while."
Here's a conversation he never thought he'd be having with Rose; discussing the finer points of their daughter's love life. it was all too surreal and yet it was inescapable, half of him was so excited he wanted to jump out of his skin and the other wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Dick knew all too well what portions of her past Rose had meant, Slade, her father whom had been a thorn in he and Bruce's side long before he had ever met Rose. What twisted fate had deigned that these two of all the world should get together was beyond his comprehension. He supposed he was fucked then, because he wouldn't change a damn thing.
"We'll be there watching, waiting. To save her if we have to. You can't spend all your days like this, Rose. She's a grown woman and a damn good fighter if half of what I hear is true. 'Course, I wouldn't expect any less from the daughter of the great Rose Wilson" he said with a small chuckle as he squeezed his arms about her. Neither one were overly given to displays of affection, but even caped crusaders needed the familiar touch of a lover.
"And... I wanted to ask... if you... If you and Lily discussed me"
~~
“I’m not sure how Damien took it. He actually look upset and that’s the first time I’ve seen him like that. Lily seemed to take it all pretty well though. She was a little overwhelmed by it but she didn’t flip out.” Or go running into her arms like she wished she would have. It would have made all of it so much easier if it had all come back at the flick of a switch when they showed up but nothing ever worked out the way it was wanted too.
“It’s hard just standing here when I want to help her but I’ve always pushed her to make her own choices. Now shouldn’t be any different. Just because she doesn’t have her memories doesn’t mean she’s not competent.”
Turning around in his arms she leaned her head on his shoulder, arms encircling his waist as she held herself against him. His scent invaded her nose and she took a deep breath. He smelled of soap and laundry detergent and under it all him. It was a heady combination to her, one she never could get enough of and right now it helped sooth her fried nerves.
“You’d be surprised how much of her is you.” She gave him a little smile as she tilted her head up, nudging her nose against his chin.
His question made her pause and she leaned her head against his jaw. “Yes, a little. She asked about you most when she was younger. I told her about you, about who you were, what you did. She’s always known but she stopped asking when she got older. I think she knew how much it hurt me to talk about it.”
~~
"well..." Dick began noncommittally "He'll get over it." he was young, rich, a burgeoning hero of sorts. And already otherwise engaged in any case. he sighed quietly and let her go, leaning against the counter next to Rose.
He nodded when she spoke of Lily asking her questions when she was younger. It was hard to hear that she had stopped, strangely. Everyone had their own way of dealing and how could she lose something that was never really there in the first place? He was 'dead', or assumed dead, months before she had been born.
Dick felt like he should apologize, as though he hadn't already a thousand times that he hadn't been there. It didn't seem to matter how many times Rose told him she forgave him a long time ago, there was a seed of self doubt nestled in his mind and no amount of digging seemed to turn it up. Perhaps it would change when he met Lily.
"Yeah" He said distantly "I suppose we'll have plenty of time to get to know eachother soon enough"
~~
“He will. It surprised me that he wasn’t happier that we found her though.” She said, half to him, half to herself. It was just another thing that she’d been musing about in her head over the last few days.
Her eyes closed as he pulled away from her to lean against the counter and she felt the heat of his body vanish and the cool of the kitchen settle back against her. She’d spent so many years living cold and detached from anyone besides her daughter and her few friends that she’d gotten used to it. Now that he was back she was constantly compelled to be near him, drawn by the warmth of his body, his touch, all of it intoxicating. She resisted the urge to curl back into his arms and settled against the counter, her arm touching his lightly.
“Can I make you anything? Can’t promise it’ll be any good.” She asked, watching his face. She’d never exactly been the homemaker type.
“I wish I’d talked to her more about you. When I brought her here she asked everyone that she knew had known you to tell he as much as they remembered.” She smiled a little. “You’ve always been her hero… in fact. Come with me.”
She took his hand, tugging on him lightly to the secret entrance to the batcave and walked down the wide steps into the massive complex under the mansion. She pulled him over to the cases of uniforms all lined up, both of those that had passed and those that had most recently taken the mantles. There were two female batsuits, one Jen’s current one, and another that Lily had been using. Beside that one was the female version of his old suit, black with the blue splash of the stylized bird.
“When she and Damien first started going out on the streets she was using your name and colors.”
~~
"yeah well, nobody likes seeing their ex with another man, y'know? Even if he has moved on with the leggy blond he claims he's keeping around for technological expertise." Neither of them had been much of a homemaker, but then, neither were Bruce and Helena and they did alright by Damien. Perhaps there was hope for them yet, though Dick somehow doubted either one was going to be an award winning chef any time soon.
"I'm not hungry" His appetite still hadn't returned fully and he was often found to be skipping meals. Still, he seemed to be adjusting quickly. The notion of a home cooked meal was out the window when Rose told Dick of his daughter walking in his footsteps. She tugged him by the hand and he went a long, following the familiar path to the entrance tot he Bat Cave. he hadn't been there since the day Cecelia had brought him back from Watchtower. Too many ghosts still lingered there and it was hard enough living in Bruce's home - and his own for many years - with all the familiar sights. At first, nothing seemed to have changed, the stillness of the air had always been there with only bird calls from the atrium breaking its listless silence. Sometimes it felt like time slowed there, like each tick of the second hand a passing twice as slow as it should. Every corner, every niche had something to remind Dick of the family that had once lived here.
Still, he went without complaint, smiling softly at the idea that Lily had chosen to take his mantle, that she had found out as much as she could from anyone willing to speak of him. they passed the rows of cases that held a variety of suits from the various generations. He could put a name to each one and he was saddened by the sheer number that were no longer with them, taken long before their due time. He stopped at Barbara's case, his eyes lingering on the original Batgirl's costume. Beside that was Time Drake's and Jason's following. All the way down to Damien's current suit (or one of them, at least). They stopped near the end and Dick couldn't hide his smile at the altered design Lily had made for her own Nightwing suit. He looked like a father proud of his child for taking their first steps... or punches as the case may be.
"I can't... It... it means a lot that she did" he said finally, his fingers touching the cold glass of the case gingerly. "Though I think I'd prefer her to stay out of the family business, of course, she's a grown woman" Dick continued, his hand dropping away.
"and I've come much too late in her life to carry much weight." He hated this was the legacy he and Bruce had left for their children. It had been their failures that had landed Gotham where it was, the whole country even. And the one's who suffered? Their children, whose hands had no part int he molding of the mayhem the city had become.
~~
“She’s more like you than you realize.” Rose said quietly as she stood behind him. Even though she whispered the sound was clear in the large room yet not overpowering. She wanted to touch and comfort him but she resisted the urge again.
“She has your drive and your passion. She wants to do the right thing, she wants to keep people safe. Unfortunately she gets her methods from me. Though she was doing good for a while before Damien left. I do know there’s more than a few dead out on the streets from her hand and the rumors out on the street is that one of the masks killed Two-Face about six months back. I don’t know which.”
She sighed heavily and sat down on one of the near by tables, her arms lifting herself up to get comfortable and let him stand before the rows of uniforms, old and new.
“She fights like you and I never taught her that. She’s light on her feet, fast. She can walk a tightrope too.” She smiled at that. “She loves animals and loves watching people. When she gets comfortable in a situation she’s just as much of a smart ass as you too.” She quirked a smile at the edge of her mouth. “And she closes down when she’s upset just like you.”
~~
"Which one? What do you mean you don't know which?" He asked quickly after she said it, but then nodded slowly "You mean Jason." He stated more than said, he sighed quietly and scratched at the stubble on his chin.
They had already fought about this subject once and it hadn't ended well. They both said things they didn't mean and it wasn't an experience he wanted to go through again. Dick held his tongue; he had never approved of how Jason and Helena operated, nor had Bruce. That was always the core of their belief in what they did. To have that line, to know that so long as they never crossed that one line, they knew which side of the law they stood on. Helena had straddled it for a long time and Jason had jumped back and forth so many times Dick had lost count. He gave a wan smile and shrugged.
"Times are different. Things have changed." Dick started with little conviction "You do what you have to... To Survive. I know that." And he did, in a way. Still, there was a part of him that hated it, that nettled at him and he knew, then, that he wasn't meant for this world. He was a relic lost to antiquity. he sighed again and shook his head.
"But that doesn't mean I have to like it." he concluded finally, though begrudgingly, he hated to see hear himself compromise in this. The one thing he swore never to compromise.
"It.. it makes me glad that she wanted to know so much and did so much to follow in my footsteps... But... I never wanted this for her. Life was supposed.. I don't know, it was supposed to be different. The good guys are supposed to win."
His arms crossed over his chest and he leaned his back against the railing in front of the cases containing the suits of lost comrades.
"Tell me what we didn't lose this war, Rose. That we didn't sacrifice everything for nothing. Look at what our children have inherited. Because of who they are, because of who we are. Tell me there's still a chance to save this city."
~~
“Yes, Jason.” She said, keeping her voice low and careful as she watched him. While she wasn’t eager to get into another fight with him, them fighting had been good for them. She’d been able to get years of repressed feelings off her chest and so had he, even if they hadn’t been suppressed quite as long by him. Somehow she expected another fight so soon wouldn’t go over so well again.
His next words surprised her and it showed on her face. Her stunned expression stayed for a few long moments before she snapped out of it to voice her thoughts. “That’s something I never thought you’d say.” She said quietly, her hands gripping the side of the table she sat on tight enough to turn her knuckles white. She wasn’t exactly sure if this was going to blow up in her face or not.
“Part of her belief in death and killing is my fault but you are right. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to survive but as long as we don’t like doing it, we still stay on that line I think.” She wet her lips, gaging his reaction. “You’ve just seen the news and the things we have on the computers. Do you want to go out one night? I’ll go with you.”
She took a deep breath looked thoughtful. She thought about all the children of the people the world had once called heroes and were they were today. She kept track of some of them, at least those of parents she’d known well enough. She thought about Gotham and the group of young people that had come together now to fight back and a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
“We lost a battle, not the war. The war will never be over as long as one person carries hope and I don’t think Gotham has lost hope. People are whispering about Batman again, the image that Bruce created all those years ago is still a symbol here. I’m sure it’s the same in other places were other heroes made their homes. Look at the group of young people that have come together here. Yes Damien, Lily, and Ramsey have Bruce, you and Kate to look up to and want to follow in the footsteps of but what about Jen and Cecilia? They’re outsiders to this. Jen made her own uniform and was out on the streets as the Batgirl that she’d always read about and heard about from her family. She didn’t have any blood ties to the name. She did it because she believed in it. And Cecilia, came to a different country and decided to stay and help Damien because she believed in what he wanted to accomplish.
“I fully believe that there’s still a chance to take our ground back. I believe that these young people and the others that will stand up when they realize what’s going on can and will bring hope back to a world that lost its heroes and that they’ll be stronger for overcoming the odds stacked against them.”
~~
"I don't know. I just look around and I don't see it, i don't see the hope. When I was woken up, I didn't... I didn't expect, well, this.
"And now that I'm here, I'm happy, happy to be with you, to meet Lily. I just... Its hard to see that Bruce died in vain. His legacy will live on as a symbol to inspire hope, I agree... But you know, I'd take the man over the symbol any day. I don't want our children to go through what we did. I know it's not my choice, it's not even my place to complain. I feel like I failed everyone, you, Lily, Bruce, Tim... I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, I'm happy to be back with you despite everything that's changed, I know one thing hasn't. You and me. That's always been all I need."
He didn't want Rose to think he regretted having been found. He didn't, but it was difficult to see the silver lining in this cloud. There were only two options in front of him, he supposed, he could continue moping about it, feeling sorry for himself, or he could do what Bruce had taught him to do. The former was tempting and so much easier...
Dick shook his head and nodded stiffly.
"You're right, Rose. A battle, that's all it was. We can do this and I was never intending to spend the rest of my days wandering around the Manor. It might be about time to get my feet wet again.. Especially if I'm going to be training Damien."
~~
“I’ve been happy to fly under the radar too for a long time but I can’t keep doing it, not any more. I tried to go back to that when Lily decided to stay here. I went back to my old habits and work but it’s just not the same anymore. I can’t keep doing that kind of work in that kind of life.” She took a deep breath and turned her head to look at Bruce’s old suit.
“Looking at all the things that Bruce left on the computers and around here, I think he knew that the fight would never be over. He left blueprints and designs for new suits on the computers. Ideas for new gadgets. The list goes on.”
She slid off the table and closed the distance between them. “You didn’t fail any of us. As far as we knew all this time you went out fighting for what you believed in. Even if I didn’t like it at the time.” She took his hands, squeezing them in her own before lifting them to press soft kisses against his knuckles.
“When you’re ready we’ll go out together. We can start sparing together anytime you want too. That is if you don’t mind sparing with an old lady.” She teased lightly.
It was frustrating to know she was in the city and exactly where she was and that she couldn’t do anything about it. The only conciliation was that she was happy where she was. Or she had been before she and Damien had walked in and dropped the bomb of her life into her lap. Should they have just left her alone? She could have gone to talk to them herself, pretended that Lily had been just another wayward young woman trying to make her mark on the work.
But could she really have done that to her daughter?
No, she couldn’t have. It wouldn’t be right to take away all the things that made Lily who she was. She’d always pushed Lily to make her own choices even when she didn’t agree with them. Even if those choices had led her to this.
Making a frustrated sound in her throat she slammed her fist down on the counter, a crack forming in the tile she’d hit and she blanched. “Oops.”
~~
"She can take care of herself" Dick said from the doorway where he'd gone unseen and unheard, such was the depth of Rose's reverie. The lights were low in the kitchen the dim lights throwing shadows across his flint black hair. cold ice coloured eyes regard Rose for a long moment, she still hadn't looked away from the crack that spider webbed up the tile. He opened his mouth but he didn't want clumsy words to escape. What could he say? This was the worst part for him; being only to sit on the side watching helpless while Rose's heart tore itself in twain. he sighed softly crossing the distance between them, his foot steps were light and quiet, as they had in the days he used them to walk the tight rope. Rose more felt than saw him as he came in behind her, his hands resting on her hips while he leaned his head forward to kiss the top of her head.
"I know it's hard" he said quietly as he pulled his mouth back to her ear, his warm breath washing across across it. "But you'll get through this, we both will" or so he hoped.
it wasn't any easier for him, his own anxiety ran high but for very different reasons. He was facing the prospect of meeting his grown woman of a daughter for the first time since... Ever. he couldn't know the loss she felt, not truly and while he needn't ever meet his daughter to love her. Dick couldn't recall her face from anything other than a well handled photograph Damien had given him the night he had returned with Cecelia. Rose needed Dick to be strong, strong enough for both of them. He played his role, all she had ever asked of him was the strength to hold her up when she couldn't stand on her own. he had let her down twenty-odd years. Now it was time for amends.
Guilt mingled with his feelings and it stung at his heart to know that Rose had felt so abandoned all those years. As though Bruce, as though Gotham... As though being a hero were important than his burgeoning family. he told himself it wasn't true, that he had sacrificed his life for them rather than despite. But had it? had it really? In the dark lonely moments of the night, Dick couldn't even give himself a sure answer.
"She'll remember" he consoled "She'll come back to you, Rose."
~~
“She could take care of herself better I she knew what she needed to protect herself from.” Rose said quietly as her eyes followed the many lines of the broken tile. Flexing her hand she pressed both of them down on the counter top and made herself close her eyes so she could stop comparing her life to what she saw in front of her instead of the person that stood behind her.
She knew when he was walking up to her even before he touched her. She felt his warmth from a mile away. Something about him always pulled at her when he was near, like a line tied between them. She sank back into his chest, her hands pulling his arms around her so she could shield herself from the world for just a few minutes in the circle of his arms. The ache in her hand went away as she closed her eyes, letting his breath rush across her ear and her body mold back against his.
This was her rock, her safe and happy place when everything in her life wasn’t going the way she wanted it too. Even when he’d been gone her mind had made up its own images of him to get her through the hard times. As deluded as it might have been it had worked and well, she’d never been the most sane of people to begin with.
“I can be fearless in everything except the things that deal with her. Part of me wants her to stay where she is and take this new life and run with it and part of me is to afraid that if she does something from my past will catch up to her and she won’t be expecting it and she’ll get hurt or worse.”
~~
"I know." he said, letting her melt against him. Why as life in Gotham always so damn complicated? Had times ever been simpler? Easier? It was a distant memory but it seemed like it had been, but then, the grass is always greener. He gave a wan smile even though she couldn't see it. "And one day she'll be thankful she has such a resourceful and capable mother. her memories will return, you said she seemed to remember some of it, when she first saw you? How did Damien take it? I know they were something on an item for a while."
Here's a conversation he never thought he'd be having with Rose; discussing the finer points of their daughter's love life. it was all too surreal and yet it was inescapable, half of him was so excited he wanted to jump out of his skin and the other wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Dick knew all too well what portions of her past Rose had meant, Slade, her father whom had been a thorn in he and Bruce's side long before he had ever met Rose. What twisted fate had deigned that these two of all the world should get together was beyond his comprehension. He supposed he was fucked then, because he wouldn't change a damn thing.
"We'll be there watching, waiting. To save her if we have to. You can't spend all your days like this, Rose. She's a grown woman and a damn good fighter if half of what I hear is true. 'Course, I wouldn't expect any less from the daughter of the great Rose Wilson" he said with a small chuckle as he squeezed his arms about her. Neither one were overly given to displays of affection, but even caped crusaders needed the familiar touch of a lover.
"And... I wanted to ask... if you... If you and Lily discussed me"
~~
“I’m not sure how Damien took it. He actually look upset and that’s the first time I’ve seen him like that. Lily seemed to take it all pretty well though. She was a little overwhelmed by it but she didn’t flip out.” Or go running into her arms like she wished she would have. It would have made all of it so much easier if it had all come back at the flick of a switch when they showed up but nothing ever worked out the way it was wanted too.
“It’s hard just standing here when I want to help her but I’ve always pushed her to make her own choices. Now shouldn’t be any different. Just because she doesn’t have her memories doesn’t mean she’s not competent.”
Turning around in his arms she leaned her head on his shoulder, arms encircling his waist as she held herself against him. His scent invaded her nose and she took a deep breath. He smelled of soap and laundry detergent and under it all him. It was a heady combination to her, one she never could get enough of and right now it helped sooth her fried nerves.
“You’d be surprised how much of her is you.” She gave him a little smile as she tilted her head up, nudging her nose against his chin.
His question made her pause and she leaned her head against his jaw. “Yes, a little. She asked about you most when she was younger. I told her about you, about who you were, what you did. She’s always known but she stopped asking when she got older. I think she knew how much it hurt me to talk about it.”
~~
"well..." Dick began noncommittally "He'll get over it." he was young, rich, a burgeoning hero of sorts. And already otherwise engaged in any case. he sighed quietly and let her go, leaning against the counter next to Rose.
He nodded when she spoke of Lily asking her questions when she was younger. It was hard to hear that she had stopped, strangely. Everyone had their own way of dealing and how could she lose something that was never really there in the first place? He was 'dead', or assumed dead, months before she had been born.
Dick felt like he should apologize, as though he hadn't already a thousand times that he hadn't been there. It didn't seem to matter how many times Rose told him she forgave him a long time ago, there was a seed of self doubt nestled in his mind and no amount of digging seemed to turn it up. Perhaps it would change when he met Lily.
"Yeah" He said distantly "I suppose we'll have plenty of time to get to know eachother soon enough"
~~
“He will. It surprised me that he wasn’t happier that we found her though.” She said, half to him, half to herself. It was just another thing that she’d been musing about in her head over the last few days.
Her eyes closed as he pulled away from her to lean against the counter and she felt the heat of his body vanish and the cool of the kitchen settle back against her. She’d spent so many years living cold and detached from anyone besides her daughter and her few friends that she’d gotten used to it. Now that he was back she was constantly compelled to be near him, drawn by the warmth of his body, his touch, all of it intoxicating. She resisted the urge to curl back into his arms and settled against the counter, her arm touching his lightly.
“Can I make you anything? Can’t promise it’ll be any good.” She asked, watching his face. She’d never exactly been the homemaker type.
“I wish I’d talked to her more about you. When I brought her here she asked everyone that she knew had known you to tell he as much as they remembered.” She smiled a little. “You’ve always been her hero… in fact. Come with me.”
She took his hand, tugging on him lightly to the secret entrance to the batcave and walked down the wide steps into the massive complex under the mansion. She pulled him over to the cases of uniforms all lined up, both of those that had passed and those that had most recently taken the mantles. There were two female batsuits, one Jen’s current one, and another that Lily had been using. Beside that one was the female version of his old suit, black with the blue splash of the stylized bird.
“When she and Damien first started going out on the streets she was using your name and colors.”
~~
"yeah well, nobody likes seeing their ex with another man, y'know? Even if he has moved on with the leggy blond he claims he's keeping around for technological expertise." Neither of them had been much of a homemaker, but then, neither were Bruce and Helena and they did alright by Damien. Perhaps there was hope for them yet, though Dick somehow doubted either one was going to be an award winning chef any time soon.
"I'm not hungry" His appetite still hadn't returned fully and he was often found to be skipping meals. Still, he seemed to be adjusting quickly. The notion of a home cooked meal was out the window when Rose told Dick of his daughter walking in his footsteps. She tugged him by the hand and he went a long, following the familiar path to the entrance tot he Bat Cave. he hadn't been there since the day Cecelia had brought him back from Watchtower. Too many ghosts still lingered there and it was hard enough living in Bruce's home - and his own for many years - with all the familiar sights. At first, nothing seemed to have changed, the stillness of the air had always been there with only bird calls from the atrium breaking its listless silence. Sometimes it felt like time slowed there, like each tick of the second hand a passing twice as slow as it should. Every corner, every niche had something to remind Dick of the family that had once lived here.
Still, he went without complaint, smiling softly at the idea that Lily had chosen to take his mantle, that she had found out as much as she could from anyone willing to speak of him. they passed the rows of cases that held a variety of suits from the various generations. He could put a name to each one and he was saddened by the sheer number that were no longer with them, taken long before their due time. He stopped at Barbara's case, his eyes lingering on the original Batgirl's costume. Beside that was Time Drake's and Jason's following. All the way down to Damien's current suit (or one of them, at least). They stopped near the end and Dick couldn't hide his smile at the altered design Lily had made for her own Nightwing suit. He looked like a father proud of his child for taking their first steps... or punches as the case may be.
"I can't... It... it means a lot that she did" he said finally, his fingers touching the cold glass of the case gingerly. "Though I think I'd prefer her to stay out of the family business, of course, she's a grown woman" Dick continued, his hand dropping away.
"and I've come much too late in her life to carry much weight." He hated this was the legacy he and Bruce had left for their children. It had been their failures that had landed Gotham where it was, the whole country even. And the one's who suffered? Their children, whose hands had no part int he molding of the mayhem the city had become.
~~
“She’s more like you than you realize.” Rose said quietly as she stood behind him. Even though she whispered the sound was clear in the large room yet not overpowering. She wanted to touch and comfort him but she resisted the urge again.
“She has your drive and your passion. She wants to do the right thing, she wants to keep people safe. Unfortunately she gets her methods from me. Though she was doing good for a while before Damien left. I do know there’s more than a few dead out on the streets from her hand and the rumors out on the street is that one of the masks killed Two-Face about six months back. I don’t know which.”
She sighed heavily and sat down on one of the near by tables, her arms lifting herself up to get comfortable and let him stand before the rows of uniforms, old and new.
“She fights like you and I never taught her that. She’s light on her feet, fast. She can walk a tightrope too.” She smiled at that. “She loves animals and loves watching people. When she gets comfortable in a situation she’s just as much of a smart ass as you too.” She quirked a smile at the edge of her mouth. “And she closes down when she’s upset just like you.”
~~
"Which one? What do you mean you don't know which?" He asked quickly after she said it, but then nodded slowly "You mean Jason." He stated more than said, he sighed quietly and scratched at the stubble on his chin.
They had already fought about this subject once and it hadn't ended well. They both said things they didn't mean and it wasn't an experience he wanted to go through again. Dick held his tongue; he had never approved of how Jason and Helena operated, nor had Bruce. That was always the core of their belief in what they did. To have that line, to know that so long as they never crossed that one line, they knew which side of the law they stood on. Helena had straddled it for a long time and Jason had jumped back and forth so many times Dick had lost count. He gave a wan smile and shrugged.
"Times are different. Things have changed." Dick started with little conviction "You do what you have to... To Survive. I know that." And he did, in a way. Still, there was a part of him that hated it, that nettled at him and he knew, then, that he wasn't meant for this world. He was a relic lost to antiquity. he sighed again and shook his head.
"But that doesn't mean I have to like it." he concluded finally, though begrudgingly, he hated to see hear himself compromise in this. The one thing he swore never to compromise.
"It.. it makes me glad that she wanted to know so much and did so much to follow in my footsteps... But... I never wanted this for her. Life was supposed.. I don't know, it was supposed to be different. The good guys are supposed to win."
His arms crossed over his chest and he leaned his back against the railing in front of the cases containing the suits of lost comrades.
"Tell me what we didn't lose this war, Rose. That we didn't sacrifice everything for nothing. Look at what our children have inherited. Because of who they are, because of who we are. Tell me there's still a chance to save this city."
~~
“Yes, Jason.” She said, keeping her voice low and careful as she watched him. While she wasn’t eager to get into another fight with him, them fighting had been good for them. She’d been able to get years of repressed feelings off her chest and so had he, even if they hadn’t been suppressed quite as long by him. Somehow she expected another fight so soon wouldn’t go over so well again.
His next words surprised her and it showed on her face. Her stunned expression stayed for a few long moments before she snapped out of it to voice her thoughts. “That’s something I never thought you’d say.” She said quietly, her hands gripping the side of the table she sat on tight enough to turn her knuckles white. She wasn’t exactly sure if this was going to blow up in her face or not.
“Part of her belief in death and killing is my fault but you are right. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to survive but as long as we don’t like doing it, we still stay on that line I think.” She wet her lips, gaging his reaction. “You’ve just seen the news and the things we have on the computers. Do you want to go out one night? I’ll go with you.”
She took a deep breath looked thoughtful. She thought about all the children of the people the world had once called heroes and were they were today. She kept track of some of them, at least those of parents she’d known well enough. She thought about Gotham and the group of young people that had come together now to fight back and a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
“We lost a battle, not the war. The war will never be over as long as one person carries hope and I don’t think Gotham has lost hope. People are whispering about Batman again, the image that Bruce created all those years ago is still a symbol here. I’m sure it’s the same in other places were other heroes made their homes. Look at the group of young people that have come together here. Yes Damien, Lily, and Ramsey have Bruce, you and Kate to look up to and want to follow in the footsteps of but what about Jen and Cecilia? They’re outsiders to this. Jen made her own uniform and was out on the streets as the Batgirl that she’d always read about and heard about from her family. She didn’t have any blood ties to the name. She did it because she believed in it. And Cecilia, came to a different country and decided to stay and help Damien because she believed in what he wanted to accomplish.
“I fully believe that there’s still a chance to take our ground back. I believe that these young people and the others that will stand up when they realize what’s going on can and will bring hope back to a world that lost its heroes and that they’ll be stronger for overcoming the odds stacked against them.”
~~
"I don't know. I just look around and I don't see it, i don't see the hope. When I was woken up, I didn't... I didn't expect, well, this.
"And now that I'm here, I'm happy, happy to be with you, to meet Lily. I just... Its hard to see that Bruce died in vain. His legacy will live on as a symbol to inspire hope, I agree... But you know, I'd take the man over the symbol any day. I don't want our children to go through what we did. I know it's not my choice, it's not even my place to complain. I feel like I failed everyone, you, Lily, Bruce, Tim... I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, I'm happy to be back with you despite everything that's changed, I know one thing hasn't. You and me. That's always been all I need."
He didn't want Rose to think he regretted having been found. He didn't, but it was difficult to see the silver lining in this cloud. There were only two options in front of him, he supposed, he could continue moping about it, feeling sorry for himself, or he could do what Bruce had taught him to do. The former was tempting and so much easier...
Dick shook his head and nodded stiffly.
"You're right, Rose. A battle, that's all it was. We can do this and I was never intending to spend the rest of my days wandering around the Manor. It might be about time to get my feet wet again.. Especially if I'm going to be training Damien."
~~
“I’ve been happy to fly under the radar too for a long time but I can’t keep doing it, not any more. I tried to go back to that when Lily decided to stay here. I went back to my old habits and work but it’s just not the same anymore. I can’t keep doing that kind of work in that kind of life.” She took a deep breath and turned her head to look at Bruce’s old suit.
“Looking at all the things that Bruce left on the computers and around here, I think he knew that the fight would never be over. He left blueprints and designs for new suits on the computers. Ideas for new gadgets. The list goes on.”
She slid off the table and closed the distance between them. “You didn’t fail any of us. As far as we knew all this time you went out fighting for what you believed in. Even if I didn’t like it at the time.” She took his hands, squeezing them in her own before lifting them to press soft kisses against his knuckles.
“When you’re ready we’ll go out together. We can start sparing together anytime you want too. That is if you don’t mind sparing with an old lady.” She teased lightly.